Monthly Archives: June 2012

Musical Interludes: Bohemian Rhapsody

So the other night I was cleaning up which is usually accompanied by singing and me intermittently rocking out. Dave has accepted my behavior as wacky but tolerable, and on occasion he sometimes joins in. This particular evening the song of choice was Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. I’d gotten through the first few overtures and had noticed Dave in the living room doing some kind of air guitar kung fu hybrid pantomime in time with the song. PAUSE and WAIT… when did he learn this song? and why does what he’s doing look kinda cool because he’s a black kid rocking out to Queen not withstanding the fact that he’s doing this in his underwear and a backwards t-shirt. So I finally get to my favorite part of the song that goes:

“But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity”

Apparently this is Dave’s favorite part too because at some point in my 2nd or 3rd repetition of this stanza he had gotten himself into a standing position in his sleeping bag and calls out to me:

“MOM LOOK I’M DANCING IN THE SLEEPING BAG OF UNSUCCESS!!”

…looking like a glow worm inching around doing the centipede standing up in the middle of the living room floor. 

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The Tent

In my apartment I have a walk through closet connecting my room to my bathroom. Sometimes it’s my sanctuary and when it’s super clean and I’m feeling super delusional I imagine it to be my “wardrobe” connecting my suite of rooms in the west wing of my flat.  One rainy Saturday evening a few weekends ago Dave and I decided to build a tent-fort in the closet.  Using skirt hangers as clamps, from higher shelves of the closet I hanged an Ikea duvet cover patterned with what has to be the united nations of colorful stick figures all painted to represent the flags of the world. The cover draped and billowed like the ceiling of a bedouin tent. The soft yellow light of the closet filtered through the colorful duvet wrapping the space in a reddish orange hue. We covered the floor in comforters and blankets, including the infamous “Hurricane Cover” (a cover so huge that years ago Dave decided it was as big and overwhelming as a hurricane. The name stuck). Dave had gathered ALL of the pillows in the house and created this nest and medley of pillows big, small, cheap, and firm, (cased and naked). In the doorway leading to the bathroom I set up a box fan on a small wooden step stool. Dave was busy stocking our fortress with TinTin comics, an Egyptian adventure mystery that we’ve been reading titled The Red Pyramid, snacks and drinks, and hadn’t noticed that I’d swiped a finishing touch out of the next room and had planted it on one the shelves in the closet. When we were finally ready to settle in I turned on the fan, the breeze was enough to ripple and sway our textile ceiling providing just enough white noise to cancel the outside sounds while adding depth to the ambiance.  Making sure Dave had all of his creature comforts, and book light within arms reach, I hopped up and flicked off the light.  I could tell that the boy was a little iffy on the darkness as I picked my way over to the shelf, and to the “finishing touch”.  A few seconds after turning off the light I switched on the snow globe that I’d grabbed earlier. The globe is full of glitter and gradually changes colors from red, to yellow, green, and blue.  The light, organic like a lava lamp and just as unobtrusive, created long shadows and patterns on the walls. It was magical!  Dave and I were giddy. We spent the night reading books, telling stories, and munching on snacks until we fell asleep.

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Inappropriate Texts During: Middle School Orientation

The Scene: Last friday I chaperoned a trip to my son’s future middle school. I’d been STOOPID sick all week and was just getting over it. During the orientation we had a break for lunch and were all in the cafeteria eating lunch and becoming further “oriented” with school staff. I was doing a good job at being the upstanding parent until THIS… (as relayed via texts to my homegirl, referred to as “The Homie”)

Me (10:18am) >> Ooooooohhhhhhh DAYUM!

THE HOMIE (10:18am) >> Huh?..lol

ME (10:18am) >> I’m chaperoning a trip to Dave’s future middle school…and the Basketball Coach just showed up

ME (10:19am) >> This. Could. Be. A. ~praaaahblem~ 🙂

THE HOMIE (10:20am) >> Haaaaaaa!.. somebodys about to need extra practice

ME (10:20am) >> OOOH YEAH (kool-aid voice)

ME (10:20am) >> And his name is Mr. Diggs

THE HOMIE (10:21am) >> Lmao

THE HOMIE (10:22am) >> Oh he gon get dug alright

ME (10:22am) >> DUG OUT!

THE HOMIE (10:23am) >> LMAO

ME (10:23am) >> OHH my gosh I’m only 98%[better] and I just laughed OUT LOUD forreal

ME (10:23am)>> There was snot involved

THE HOMIE (10:24am) >> Lmao… i need u to Be cool..cuz snot has never been attractive

ME (10:25am) >> Um yeah snot aint never cute

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Holy Kumquat Batman!

Every now and then I feel really bad that my son is an only child.  I’ll look over and see him chattering away to himself, battling himself in bey blades, using both playstation remotes…stuff like that. I admit, I feel a little pang of empathy, and then, well, and then – I don’t. feeling passes. But a lack of constant playmates, cousins, or cable does have an effect on a kid, especially when they’re interacting with other kids.  My son tries to fit in but sometimes he doesn’t quite get it.  The other day he was in the backseat play acting like a superhero with these two kids when I overheard this:

Kaboom POW BANG PAPAYA!

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