I don’t even know how to start this post, I’m so angry and so hurt. The discontent that started nagging me sometime ago has built up and spilled over into a boiling fury that at this moment can only be temporarily relieved through writing.
We, meaning black people need to WAKE UP, WAKE THE HECK UP and stop making excuses, stop trying to clean the house right before company comes, when the truth is, our collective house, that is our community has become filthy, dilapidated, and rife with vermin. We are in a crisis, but trying so hard to blame everybody else for the crap that we’ve let fester in our own home. On friday morning at around 7am I got a call from my mom, distraught and choking on tears asking me “Did I hear…”, how many times have we gotten the “Did you hear..” call? The doom call to tell us that something horrible has just intimately intersected our lives? This time it was that my little cousin had been shot and was in critical condition. I went straight to my closet and got on my face and screamed to My Father, let me tell you this , my mom called me to tell me the news, yes, but she also called me because she knew what I would do and that was to take this crisis immediately to My Father. I screamed and pleaded for my cousin, interceding on his behalf to the only power that can help. I didn’t call Obama, Eric Holder, Jessie Jackson, or Al Sharpton. I called Christ and he answered. Anger had not set in just yet. After putting the call out to my church to form a prayer circle, I went to the hospital. All the while I was receiving updates from my aunts about my cousin’s condition and the events surrounding his being shot. I got to the hospital and met my cousin, my little cousin’s mom. I had arrived the same time that the chaplain had arrived. Straight up, I know this might sound messed up, but the chaplain was THE LAST PERSON I wanted to see. He was there for support though, and we all prayed for my cousin. When we were finally able to go in to see him, I looked at him on the bed and my heart broke. I had babysat this kid before, and now at 22 he’s here holding on to his life. and FOR WHAT?!!! FOR WHAT!!!! because some piece of trash decided to be a coward!! My cousin had just been doing his job, working security at a club when things got out of control and this person needed to be escorted out. And what does he do?, instead of just scooping up his manhood and going home he takes his gun and shatters a life. Because why? Because some one told him NO? because his ego was bruised???Why! I don’t know the exact answer but I have enough insight to draw certain conclusions. But guess what though I don’t see protests for this, unfortunately it’s happening so often that it’s commonplace in our community. Black men kiling black men. It’s the invisible terrorism that we don’t want to acknowledge. We want to align ourselves as “brother” and “sisters” I’m sorry you can count me out of that all are welcomed fraternity/sorority, I am not going to affirm this mess. These are terrorists, these are degenerates right here in our own back yards, shooting, killing, drugging, raping, brainwashing, and all other manner of wickedness yet we can be so quick to vilify anybody else that’s not our complexion who we perceive as having disenfranchised us from the American Dream, but can’t look at what we ourselves have allowed to flourish right under our noses. Black men have lost their way, they’ve lost their purpose, they’ve lost their dignity, and their sense of authority, and responsibility to the youth, to their peers, and to themselves. And please, DO NOT get into your feelings, this is not a male bashing session, we women are very much a part of the problem as well because of our own devaluing of ourselves and lowering of our standards, we’ve accepted and allowed too much. There is much to be said about a people lacking leadership and leaders. In many ways we’ve stripped men of their natural roles as leaders and have affirmed their passivity. We lift up things that mean nothing. Materialism and hedonism reigns. We glorify it. We’ve glorified misogyny. I go to work every day and have to listen to the most disgusting, filthy and disrespectful things coming out of the mouths of people that we have happily placed as figure heads of our people. Drake, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj and list goes on. Vomiting through the airways ideals that become implanted into the psyche and manifest themselves through debauchery and senselessness. We have a problem here, It needs to be fixed. Black people, we need to get it together, and FYI our getting it together does not mean tearing down other races. Stop it. We need to stop covering up for this garbage that has infiltrated our community. Yes I am angry, I’m frustrated. I am a mother and I deal with these frustrations daily, but I’m also not raising my son to believe that his future is dictated by another person. “They won’t let me…” is not an option for failure. NO ONE has the power over his future but God, and himself. Because it is God who gave him his purpose in life to begin with. I’m not raising him to believe “We used to be slaves.” I NEVER EVER EVER heard my grandma or grandpa say no stupid mess like that. Our forefathers who were enslaved had more dignity in their little finger than what we collectively have today. They worked hard to cut a path for us! Who the heck are we to lessen those accomplishments by perceiving ourselves to still be in bondage to someone else!??? The funny thing is the younger the generation, the more they hearken back to the past trying to use past injustices (that they’ve never suffered) as a crutch to excuse their own lack of motivation, as if somebody owes them something. Nobody Owes You Anything! Get over it, work hard and GET IT FOR YOURSELF. When are we going to stop this trend. We’re raising brats with a twisted view of self and men with an atrophied perception of manhood. It’s time to grow the heck up. We are at war within our own neighborhoods and it just so happens that the enemy looks like us. We can’t keep making excuses for this mess. Yo, I’m DONE! Our ancestors did not fight for this mess, they didn’t fight for us to be so hateful of our fellow man. Everybody is so quick to talk about the way we’re presented in the public and “We need to put out better imagery to change public perception” Yo I can do a photoshoot, any body can do a photoshoot, heck Terry Richardson is a great photographer but he’s still a pervert so what are we saying? That’s all we care about is “public perception”, what’s on the surface, but what about the inside? Huh? What about that? We have reality and network shows that make millions off of showing us as buffoons, backbiters, gold diggers, glorified whores, and the list goes on, and we laugh right along with it, we sing right along with the Pied Piper and shmoney dance right over a cliff. I listen to these rappers talking about how many women they’ve slept with, how much drugs they use, how many cars they have, how can’t nobody tell them NOTHIN’, then we wonder how a person can go to a club, hyped up on his own ego, fueled by a volatile atmosphere, with no training in restraint, and what it means to be a real man, how this person can turn around and shoot someone in cold blood. I hate the state that we’re in. It sickens me. I’m sick of it and trust and believe just because you can look in the mirror and say, oh well that’s not me, I’m not out here doing that, don’t think for a minute that your silence isn’t resounding. It’s exactly that look the other way attitude that has gotten us to where we are today as a society.
In the Bible, Queen Esther was charged with the responsibility of warning the King about the impending threat to the lives of her people. She had been divinely and strategically placed for “such a time as this” but she had to accept the responsibility thrust upon her. She had the choice to either act or stay silent, but check this out:
13 And Mordecai told them to answer Esther: “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. 14 For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
She could have stayed silent but that didn’t mean she was going to be safe, and that also didn’t mean that help would not come anyway. She had been given the honor to be the instrument of change. How much more so are we charged to save our own community?