The Essence Of Aunt Jemima

Keep cooking a secret! Especially breakfast foods. Even more especially eggs, and DO NOT EVER EVER EVER show your kids how to make pancakes, don’t even let them observe you making them, and when they get old enough to read MARK OUT THE INSTRUCTIONS on the back of the box. Matter fact, just put the mix in a ziplock bag. Heed this warning or you too will suffer. The first things I learned how to cook were scrambled eggs. My cousin and I figured one day that we were grown enough to do this, they were horrible and mostly stuck to the pan but we ate them proudly, and triumphantly. My son’s first real foray into chefing was eggs as well (Kid’s Cuisine doesn’t count). The eggs should have been a red flag, but I thought maybe this is good for his confidence and independence. The first time he decided he was going to (without asking) just go into the fridge and cook him up some eggs, I let it slide. Then he graduated to Pancakes! You see it was all fun and games until someone decided PANCAKES = SNACKS! So this kid starts whipping up pancakes with reckless abandon! It was to the point where he wasn’t even plating them! He’d be just strutting around the house with casual pancakes! I couldn’t even take a nap without waking up to the Essence of Aunt Jemima and the Spirit of Hungry Jack wafting through my house!! Parents you’ve been warned, don’t let those little jokers learn how to cook until they can contribute to the grocery bill.

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